I'm Not Celebrating Mental Health Month the Way I Usually Do (And That's the Point)
Mental Health Month is approaching at the end of this week, and I am celebrating in a very different way than I usually do.
I didn’t hustle to get myself on stages or published online, like usual.
I didn’t prepare as much content for my platforms as I have in years past.
I didn’t look up events to attend or activities to participate in.
The truth is…I haven’t felt like doing any of those things right now. And that’s exactly how I’m celebrating Mental Health Awareness—by having the awareness to honor how I’m feeling.
If we’re talking about making mental health more visible, maybe we start by honoring exactly what it means to be living with a mental health condition.
Maybe it goes beyond sharing the staggering data, making the scroll-stopping social media videos, and attending the fundraising events. Yes, all of those things are so important, and someone should be doing them. And in the past, it’s been me.
But, this year…what if it’s OK if it’s not me?
What if the best way I can celebrate this year is by honoring my everyday life? And right now, my everyday looks and feels a little different. For the first time in my life, I’m going through the rollercoaster of deep grief.
I realize how privileged I am to have 43 years of life without this type of rip-your-heart-out grief. And how lucky I am to have had my beloved Tessie for 16+ years. But in all honesty, I'm just coming out the other side of a heavy few months. So, I'm going to celebrate by honoring that as a win.
It’s Gonna Be May
The first day of Mental Health Month will be a day of low-key celebrations.
It marks 6 months without my Tessie, and I’m celebrating her being at peace for that time. And this part feels weird to say, but I’m also celebrating how that shift has improved my anxiety—I no longer have sleepless nights and worry-filled days.
May 1st is another big milestone—I will be free of alcohol for 4 years.
Quitting alcohol was the absolute best thing for my mental health, and in the beginning of my sobriety, every day and every month felt like a celebration.
Today, it's just my life, and I don't think too much about it. But, I do quietly celebrate the wins like seeing NA bars pop up (like the one I visited in Nashville) or hearing other people share their stories about quitting booze for their mental health. Those small moments feel like enough right now.
Initially, I felt so conflicted about having these two milestones on the same day. But as my best friend, Lindsey, put it beautifully, it’s a celebration of life.
I love that way of looking at it. Sometimes you just need someone else to help you see things differently. That's exactly how I came to this blog. Someone showing me a different viewpoint.
I told my business bestie, Melissa Dorsky ,that I wasn’t sure if and how I wanted to “celebrate” Mental Health Month. She encouraged me to think of it differently—the celebration is the fact that I'm navigating this tough season and honoring my feelings instead of just pushing through.
Let's celebrate the fact that I'm going through it and my business is still thriving because that's how I built it. That’s what entrepreneurship is all about anyway-–running a business that supports me during my ups and downs. As my business coach Amy Pocsik once reminded me: sometimes the win doesn’t have anything to do with your revenue.
When the Advocate Doesn’t Want to Advocate
When you're an advocate, you start to feel compelled to do the very thing you proclaim to do—advocate for your cause. But the truth is there are so many ways to celebrate an awareness month, an anniversary, or an accomplishment. And it’s OK if that looks different from previous years or from how other people do it.
My brother, Gabriel Perna , made a related point in response to Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, “I don't need to wear a blue puzzle piece to show I am aware of or accept autism. In my family, we live it every single day.”
What I keep coming back to is how much it matters to have people around you who help you see things differently—like my people did for me. Sometimes you just need people to help you see outside yourself. That’s part of the work we’re going to do at the one Mental Health Month event I am attending this year—my own.
I'm hosting a small, intimate gathering for founders on May 14—an evening built around this all-too-familiar tension: what we share publicly, what we keep private, and what it means when those two things start to drift apart. If that resonates with where you are right now, I'd love for you to be there. Learn more here: Evening of Founder Stories.
